
Conquering the fear of the crowd is conquering perfectionism.
Here is a lovely report sent this morning on our course's WhatsApp group. Of all the reports of success that the students shared, it stood out because it was a report of failure, but there was so much value in that failure that for me it teaches more than many successes.
Failure in a tough battle is no shame. is a way to train for tough battles
In short, Eve is a senior engineer In high-tech who looks like the perfect manager from the outside. But Hava reinforces this impression with the help of perfectionism that causes acute audience anxiety. after 5 weeks in a premium course She participated in a tough discussion in which she was attacked in a way that did not allow her to use the techniques of the course and felt an acute failure. But instead of feeling sorry for herself, she chose to analyze the reasons for the failure with the help of The feedback tool that we have learned, and thus draw lessons and then storm back into the yeshiva until... maybe you should read the end of the story yourself.
How to stop being afraid of failure and defeat perfectionism with the help of constructive criticism
What I want to say about Hava's story is thatAll the best to the farm. on three levels:
- First of all she shares not only successes but also failures. Because it's easy to share successes - Chava shared many of these. Many students in her course shared successes. But sometimes it's a bit embarrassing to share failures. And it's important to share failures as well because the most important lesson in her story is that there is no success without failure - that's how learning works! Those who are not willing to look for failures will not be able to learn lessons. Then that person will only be able to learn things that succeed on the first try. And there aren't many of them.
- Second, because Eve tried and was able to learn from the failure quickly, draw lessons, and then was able to apply them. until success. It is not easy to overcome failure,
It's not easy to bravely analyze the reasons for failure, and it's really hard to pick yourself up from failure and try again.
But those who do it receive the most powerful learning there is: learning from overcoming.
which is not only the learning that lasts the longest,
but also learning that teaches you how to learn. Because after you beat such a failure once, you already have a mindset to beat other failures.
And 'thinking pattern' is not only knowledge, and action instructions - it is also proof of ability for the next time!
And last thing she was able to see that success is also to have a partial victory.
Not to look for the perfectionism of 'wow' in every performance (because then you will limit yourself only to performances where you can achieve 'wow'. And there aren't many of those). But understand that once you go into the real world of performing in front of an audience that is sometimes hostile, or sometimes impatient, or sometimes surprising, then success is measured by achieving the maximum possible in that sitting. Not some 'wow' utopia, but 'good' realism. of 'it was good enough and it doesn't need to be improved'.
So congratulations thrice experienced!
The full story of Hava
hi everyone,
It's a bit long (and personal...), but so that you don't think for a moment that all experiences magically turned positive, I'll share.
I just left a management meeting, in which I was suddenly confronted about a problem for which I was asked to provide details, explanations and ways to deal with it.
I wasn't ready with the details and I was half-attentive to begin with, so in the shock and the need to respond I forgot all the techniques and made all the possible mistakes.
1. I did not use any technique to gain time and tried to respond immediately.
2. I had no structure and of course no chapter heads.
3. I didn't use any technique to deal with questions for which I don't have an answer, and I got into trouble trying to answer them.
4. I stuttered and blushed and was really miserable.
But the good news is that it took me 30 seconds and a bit of shame to recognize the situation, I stopped and asked for a few minutes to examine the data and come back with clear and accurate answers towards the end of the meeting and in the meantime move on to the next topic.
It wasn't the end of the world, I realized that the big fear of 'coming out unprofessional' if I didn't get answers on the spot was in my head, and it was he who would make me look exactly like that in the end.
After all, in the end I came back with the exact data at the beginning of chapters, I presented them and it was reasonable.
I can't say that I starred there, because the subject was complex, and a few minutes of preparation during the meeting wasn't really enough, but it wasn't terrible either.
I also realized that our need to be perfect in every situation is excessive and unrealistic
And in closing I say, the only one who analyzed my behavior in detail in the meeting was me.
And how do I know that? Because one of the participants turned to me with a follow-up question to the topic, and with the last bit of self-respect I had left, I asked him, but the situation was seen from the side, for his part, he did not remember (or did not see/hear) the stuttering at the beginning, only the part where I said I would check and update, and then he said something Like: what does it matter if you gave an answer on the spot or not, what is certain is that everyone knows that if Eve says something she knows what she is talking about.