Want to start feeling good in front of an audience?
So just stop beating yourself up
Groucho stands in one of the Marx Brothers films and hit himself in the head with a stick.
They ask him: "Why are you doing this?"And Groucho answers:
"Because it feels so good when I stop."
And how is it related to crowd fear?
Because you have no idea how good you will feel when you stop beating yourself up. It's that simple, at least in theory:
Not only will you stop suffering in front of an audience...
And not only can you start talking more…
And not only will a lot of opportunities open up to you that you are rejecting...
But because one of the most disgusting things about crowd fear is the 'self-flagellation'. Which means that you are angry with yourself, and sometimes you also punish yourself that you are Afraid of an audience, get stuck in front of an audience or avoid opportunities. And if you read to the end you can learn
- What is self-flagellation and why does it increase public fear.
- Our proven technique to reduce self-harm that has helped hundreds.
- Our proven technique to prevent self-inflicted wounds that has helped thousands.
- And most importantly: what to do, now, to stop it (you can skip straight for solution)
What is self-flagellation and how does it increase public fear?
Self-flagellation is a form of particularly cruel self-criticism that people Those who suffer from fear of crowds turn towards themselves when they feel that they have messed up in front of a crowd, In fact - it's almost every time...
In cognitive behavioral psychology, self-flagellation is one of 8 thought-distortions that create social anxiety, and of the eight, it is the distortion that affects the longest term.
This review always begins with a real fault, more or less serious - For example, if I said 'aah' too many times or if I didn't know how to answer a question.
The difference between healthy self-criticism and self-flagellation is that self-flagellation will swell to monstrous proportions, and that sometimes it will last an absurdly long period of time. Let's figure out how to solve these two problems:
How not to make a godzilla fly
The weighting of the self-criticism is carried out in a very fast process - a tenth of a second or even less. It So fast that in our workshops (and there is one this week) participants do not pay attention to the process and feel that momentarily If they mess up, they immediately tear themselves apart - but the process exists and it is gradual. Fear of an audience from a monster example (a bit extreme but quite representative):
"I said 'aah' too much, it sounded like a stutter,
And so they think I stuttered, and so they think I'm anxious,
And so they think I'm not serious, so they won't want to work with me
And what a retard I am that I couldn't stop saying aah like an idiot."
It sounds excessive and absurd when writing the full process, but it happens So fast that those who suffer from it do not feel at that moment absurd, and therefore so difficult Treat self-flagellation alone.
Our solution: teamwork
Self-flagellation is a problem that is much easier to solve together than alone. And when some people with crowd anxiety share their negative thoughts It is easy for each of them to solve their friend's problem. It turns out that each participant easily sees the absurdity of the other's self-flagellation blind to his own.
For example, in the social anxiety workshops we do, we discovered that the participants a lot More persuasive and creative than our facilitators in solving the common problems their. There is such a workshop soon. You should sign up for it.
The long term problem
If the self-flagellation had been short and to the point, the damage would have been limited. The problem is that self-flagellation can go on without a break Lots and lots of time. This means that its damage lasts far beyond the experience The negative of the speech.
Worse: if the beating continues until the next opportunity to speak, it will increase the pressure, something that will make the speech difficult and increase the chance of further breakdowns, (Each one is her own self-flagellation).
Our solution: switch to constructive self-criticism
The secret is to take control of the self-flagellation and turn it into a lever for positive change (In a previous newsletter I called it 'anti-fragility'), and it is done in 3 steps:
- First look at the problem matter-of-factly and find the reason that caused it,
- second to solve the same reason (with the help of a professional technique),
- Then look for an opportunity for a corrective experience, and make sure the problem does not recur.
For example, in the regular course we complete such a circuit every week with one lesson and one practice (6 circuits)
Whereas in the premium course, a circle is also completed within each lesson (12 circles).
So now seriously: it's not time to start having fun
How great does it feel to stop punishing yourself?
Sign up for a public speaking program. now. seriously.
You know you need to. You have been on our mailing list for a long time because This problem bothers you, and you know it won't solve itself.
So until now you have given yourself excuses.
But now 'after the holidays' and it's a great time to stop with the excuses, jump into the water And do the only thing that will solve the fear once and for all.
And this solution comes with a 100% commitment anyway!.
So cool. The phone is 1-800-100-192.
This is an opportunity to overcome excuses
So go ahead, click here and fill in details.